Ends and Beginnings

I told my dad the other day this might be my first "big life"
decision I would not cry over.

Because I am known for last-second-anguish tears.
I cried for two whole days before deciding to go to UofM.
I cried for three whole days when I got my first teaching job.

And I am really not much of the crying type--
though my brothers think I am destined to turn into one
because of my lovely, tends-to-cry-mother. :)

But in the end, I was right. I didn't cry.

Today, I walked into my principal's office and told her that
I am not coming back.

I am moving on.

And though I will carry bits of sadness with me--
because it will be hard to say good-bye to a job and people
I treasure--
because of the students I love and have to leave behind--
because of the colleagues I will miss--
who have been my support,
my source of kindness, my encouragement--

Yet, despite all these things, I did not cry.

Because I knew. I truly knew. And for the first time in awhile,
God has blessed me with absolute surety.

I can sense His love and presence surrounding me.
He is giving me the strength to believe
in the good that lies ahead,
in the goodness He has promised me.

And the funny thing is--for the first time...
of all my big decision moments--

I found myself oddly experiencing tears of

joy.

and not anguish.

I am overwhelmed by the
blessings in my life.

God has given me direction.

He has given me an open door--
to pursue my hopes, to begin a new adventure...

He has given me countless people to support me
and pray for me and love me, despite everything.

And so, today marks the end.

And the beginning.

And I may not know exactly where I will end up,
but I know I'm ready.

Chicago--Here I come....